With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
