just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
