yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize