So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize