Nicole vs. Life
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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