so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
