I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
