it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
