is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
