ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
