Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
