He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
where are you?
Hypothermia
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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