Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
