I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Too much gin, very little bucket
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
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Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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