Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
