my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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