Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
