yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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