So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
