i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
