You really coming over, don't trick.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize