He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
