In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
