You're completely useless in the revolution.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
