The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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