Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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