i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize