I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
