i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
