Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
