dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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