i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize