Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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