So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Randomize
