this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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