If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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