Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
