Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
