the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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