Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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