More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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