dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
