mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
