Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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