I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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