my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize