What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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