even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
