dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
