everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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