now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
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The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
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The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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