I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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