We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize