There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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