hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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