Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize