Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
