The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
