This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
